Neeeeear ... Faaaar .... Where Ever You Are
Okay so now that I don’t have to focus ALL MY ATTENTION on having children, it’s suddenly turned on to dh. And it’s like, wow, God is great, cuz I got me an awesome dh.
But I’ve always known that. I aint no dummy. I knew exactly what I got the moment I married him—a prince among men, and a heart of gold.
The problem is, now I realize I have an awesome dh AND I could lose him at ANY MOMENT. I have this terrible fear now that something’s going to happen to him. Like, loss has become the norm in my life and now I expect it to continue.
So, I was thinking of stalking dh. Do you think he would mind? I have to make sure he’s all right. That’s my heart out there, walking around, alone, unprotected, without me to cover it and keep it safe. What am I gonna do?
I know, I know it’s a silly fear based in nonsense. I am not, afterall, in control of the world or any calamities that befall it or its inhabitants. But that doesn’t preclude me from praying for divine intervention. Soooo
Dear God, please bless my dh with a long healthy with me (healthy too) because he’s awesome and I love him. And I know you love him too, but um like um …hmmm. I’m lost on that one. Just please bless us with a long healthy loving life and let us die together. That’s all (except, I really don’t wanna die so soon, cuz, that sounds kinda scary and I’m not done trying to do good by You).
Otherwise, what else is there to do? What am I going to do, hover around him like a mother hen? See, that’s the real problem. A subconscious need to hover? Noooo, a subconscious need to mother. I know. But I don’t want to be stage mom, for God’s sake, crowd the child … err, husband.
And now you can see why my dh is so awesome ... he actually puts up with all this :)
God bless you baby,
Jude
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But I’ve always known that. I aint no dummy. I knew exactly what I got the moment I married him—a prince among men, and a heart of gold.
The problem is, now I realize I have an awesome dh AND I could lose him at ANY MOMENT. I have this terrible fear now that something’s going to happen to him. Like, loss has become the norm in my life and now I expect it to continue.
So, I was thinking of stalking dh. Do you think he would mind? I have to make sure he’s all right. That’s my heart out there, walking around, alone, unprotected, without me to cover it and keep it safe. What am I gonna do?
I know, I know it’s a silly fear based in nonsense. I am not, afterall, in control of the world or any calamities that befall it or its inhabitants. But that doesn’t preclude me from praying for divine intervention. Soooo
Dear God, please bless my dh with a long healthy with me (healthy too) because he’s awesome and I love him. And I know you love him too, but um like um …hmmm. I’m lost on that one. Just please bless us with a long healthy loving life and let us die together. That’s all (except, I really don’t wanna die so soon, cuz, that sounds kinda scary and I’m not done trying to do good by You).
Otherwise, what else is there to do? What am I going to do, hover around him like a mother hen? See, that’s the real problem. A subconscious need to hover? Noooo, a subconscious need to mother. I know. But I don’t want to be stage mom, for God’s sake, crowd the child … err, husband.
And now you can see why my dh is so awesome ... he actually puts up with all this :)
God bless you baby,
Jude
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posted by Fertile Soul at
10:51 AM
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