40 Mournings and Nights

Monday, November 14, 2005

Hi-Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To The OB-GYN I Go

Dont make the mistake of getting excited. Yes, i know. A trip to the ob-gyn is not like trips to other doctors. There's always that small hope that the doctor will call you into her office and say, I dont know how to tell you this, but despite all possible predictions to the contrary, you're pregnant! or my personal favorite ... The reason you're so fat is because ... YOU'RE 6 MONTHS PREGNANT! I heard that on the news once. A woman was rushed to the emergency room complaining of stomach cramps and delivered a baby instead.

No, i have no such news to report. In fact, i am here to announce that the ob-gyn's office has risen in its rankings of least favorite places to visit, beating out the dentist's chair.

Why? you must ask ... well, it's so baby-geared and baby infused. I want to go to an ob-gyn that has nothing to do with babies or getting pregnant, just the usual run-of-the-mill yeast infections and pap smears. I dont want to overhear the doctor talking about a woman who had to have a ceasarian because her baby was too large. I dont want to be in a waiting room full of mommy's-to-be.

And the best part is, i find myself trying to compete for my ob-gyn's attention. As if i feel that she suddenly realized that i'm not the IVF cash cow of her dreams. I'm just a time-guzzling hypochondriac who wont get the message that there are pitri-dish babies to be made in the time i am wasting.

Well, that's not entirely true. My doctor did not see dollar signs when she looked at me in the past. Well, i'm going to at least give her the benefit of the doubt that she didnt. She is nice. She just took a long, long, LONG time to return my five phone calls over the last 10 days. Ok, well, we did play phone tag, and her mother died. So, her sudden "disinterest" in me may have nothing to do with me at all. Who knew?

So, here it is again, another wonderful monday morning. So far, i missed my train, was late for work, have been stuck with a needle twice, saw more pregnant women and babies than i've seen in the last month, and, and, and ... well, the day is still young.

I realized today that everytime i go to the ob-gyn, i carry with me the subconscious wish that this visit will go differently.

It didnt.

Jude



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