It's a Tragedy for Me to See the Dream is Oooo-verrrrrrr

But i never will forget,
the day we met,
girl i'm gonna miss you ...

Can you tell i grew up in the 80's? I think music appreciation skipped that decade.

But i'm really here to talk about a new found appreciation for tragedies. Yeah, me, the girl who cant watch any movie without knowing in advance that everyone will live happily ever after. Is it any wonder that Ever After is listed as one of my favorite movies?

I actually caught that movie on cable recently and cringed ... cringed ... at some of the lame lines. Who can forget Drew Barrymore trying to roll out "I shall ... try." Maybe that's why it got stuck on her tongue. It's lame writing. And then i discovered that the movie was chuck full of 'em. It made me want to remove Ever After off my favorites list. But then, i is lazy. Nyeh.

So the other day, on a particularly sucky night ... what happened that night ... hold on, i'm trying to remember why i was bummed ... oh yeah, i got a big ole rejection letter from an agent on my manuscript. Reee-jeck-sheeee-yon. Yeah, so, the other night, i was so totally bummed. It's like, i work all day and write all night and nothing seems to be working out. I am not producing (read, reproducing) on any level. It's like infertility applies all over my life. Maybe my english teacher was right? Stupid woman. I cant talk about her without saying that. Is that mean?

Anyway, back to my ever-elusive point. So i was flipping through the channels and i came across the last half hour of Moulin Rouge. I have never seen that movie, nor did i ever want to because i have sixth sense about tragic endings and i AVOID them. But this day, the misery i was feeling masked my sixth sense and the normal triggers i have in place to change the channel. So instead, i was drawn in. And as i watched, i had the feeling that it was going to end badly and that i would be really disappointed. And i hate disappointment and i hate bad endings. But i figured, heck, it cant be worse than dealing with never having the one thing you ever wanted or living with permanent infertility or having your novel rejected (which is also my baby). Tragedy, you say? Ha! I could care less.

So i sat there and watched with an open mind. It was right at the point where hero and heroine declared their love for each other, and the theme is that it's better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all. And so you know by theme, there's going to be some tragic ending. But the whole time you think (or at least i did) that the tragedy is that she will have to dump hero and go with the dastardly duke. And you feel so tortured for her decision because it saves everyone in the play.

And in the end ... i wont give it away, except to say that it's still tragic but it's a beautiful movie, very well-told, from the half hour that i saw. And it shocks me to say this after a lifetime of devotion to happily-ever-afters. I thought that only those types of movies were good or emotionally satisfying. Who wants to watch tragedy? Life is tragic enough.

But a well-told tragedy, like Romeo and Juliet, has its own bittersweet but satisfying beauty.

And oddly, i felt a renewed hope after watching it. I guess the experience of tragedy has a way of clearing the space for renewal and regrowth.

And so now i have a newfound appreciation for tragedies--the well crafted ones. I'm still against all those tragedies that aimlessly pull at your heartstrings and carelessly leave you in a puddle of tears at the end. That's what infertility is for. Dont need to rent that, when i've lived it. Gimme something i dont know.

I didnt know there could be any beauty in a perfect tragedy.

Jude







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