A Mean Case of Infertility
I'm having a nasty bout with infertility today. So far, i've cried all morning and slept all day. And, worst of all, is that i feel like i have no one to talk to about it. All my friends know that the mourning period is over and even when i was in mourning, they weren't always available. Now it's like what do i do, call them up and explain that infertility is really a condition, sometimes you have flare ups and sometimes it goes into remission? How fun for my friends. Here comes Jude on the caller ID, wonder what she wants to talk about.
And then the rest of my friends are getting pregnant, so that makes everyone act weird around me. Can we say this in front of her? Will she be upset by that? And it leaves me with no friend to hold my hand through this. Who can understand this? Huh? What can i say that wont come across as jealousy, and then make me uncomfortable for what they think of me. And i'm not jealous. I'm so unbelievably happy for my friends, it's painful. Can you understand that?
Can anyone understand that?
And then the rest of my friends are getting pregnant, so that makes everyone act weird around me. Can we say this in front of her? Will she be upset by that? And it leaves me with no friend to hold my hand through this. Who can understand this? Huh? What can i say that wont come across as jealousy, and then make me uncomfortable for what they think of me. And i'm not jealous. I'm so unbelievably happy for my friends, it's painful. Can you understand that?
Can anyone understand that?
posted by Fertile Soul at
2:11 PM
5 Comments:
I can understand. You have two issues: infertility and a pure heart in an ugly, metalic, wintery world that is overwhelmed with an ethos that glorifies what people "have" of the material genre and ignore or feel pitty for those things that can outgun, outshine, and outlive all the molecular profits put together. When you are able to be genuinely happy for those things that others have and you can't have, then what you got, baby, is what the prophets said to envy. Dang! I love what you got. Can I have some?
dh
By
Anonymous, at 5:51 PM
I understand. And I'm so sorry.
By
Anonymous, at 9:32 AM
I understand too, and it sucks. I felt the same way...happy for them, but still. I know it makes it awkward. I'm so sorry this is happening.
kelly_jeanie
By
Anonymous, at 12:40 PM
I know. I understand. I wish I could say something that would really help but I seem to be just bumbling today. Perhaps it's because I feel your pain too.
By
Lori, at 2:31 PM
Yes, I understand and you are not alone.
By
Pamplemousse, at 3:19 PM
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